Black Ribbons

On Good Friday I was assigned to tie black ribbons made of cloth on the flags we have here in the hotel. We couldn’t pull down the flags in half mast because the poles are to short. So the ribbons would give gesture that we are in mourning like the rest of Italy. It was my first time to do this.

I thought of the people who lost their lives in the earth quake while I was making an overhand knot with the black cloth. I went back to the 1990 quake too, back home. Then I remembered how Diego, my wife’s patron, told her one day how embarassing was the Prime Minister Silvio Brulusconi’s comment on the in coming President of the United States Barrak Obama. Saying that Mr. Obama is “tanned”.

I’m amazed by the innocence of the PM’s observation on the disaster this time. He said that the devastated area “loks like a camping site” (for tourists). Diego won’t be here to talk about this to my wife because he killed himself.

Lukie saw that my wife was crying when she got the news on the phone. When he understood what just happened, Lukie placed a hand on his mother’s shoulder and said, “It’s okay Mama you will still find another job”.

I’m so relieved on how innocent my son took this loss.

Lovelyn cleaned, washed, ironed and cooked for Diego and his family. She visited, more than once, his employer when he was in the hospital. She often told me that he was a good man. Then when Diego got his first brush of death, due to a heart attack, that’s where things started to crumble.

Diego got depressed, felt lonely and useless. He talked about his two children and how they changed and also about the divorce that was mutual. He often times told her about suicide.

Lovelyn tried to help even though she didn’t know how to. She talked to Diego and listened to him too. Then one night she had a dream, it frightens me when she has this nightmares because she sees dead people and sometimes she fells them too, she saw a coffin but couldn’t know who died. Lovelyn knew, that night when it awakened her, that someone will pass away.

The last time Lovelyn talked to Diego, she wondered why he was only taking a brief case to Piemonte, Diego’s home town for a week, and left it for my wife to see it near to where she was ironing. Lovelyn was worried so she sent him a text message and Diego assured her that he made the five hour drive safely.  

When we talk about it, it made sense to everything but it’s over now.

It would be hard on my wife these following weeks maybe months, where she wouldn’t have to wake up early to get to work. Where she wouldn’t have to chase boats and buses to get in time to Diego’s house. Where she would only have our house to clean, cook and work on. She will miss her good patron.

She cries a lot but I know she will get over it. Lovelyn is one tough cookie much stronger then me. And I know she will also find time to untie the black ribbon she has on her and forgive herself.

~ by musashiboogie on April 11, 2009.